Five surgeons are discussing who has the best
patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on
my operating table because when you open them up,
everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians
are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical
order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like
construction workers. Those guys always understand
when you have a few parts left over at the end, and
when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the
easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart,
no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head
and the ass are interchangeable."
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| My name is Bob, and I am Canadian |
| I was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for every problem in this country since the 1800's.
I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive without a seat
belt.
All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.
I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These
same people cannot name this country's new territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a
pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my military can't afford the equipment to protect me, either.
Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still
provides my nation's prime ministers.
95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.
I believe that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.
Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave
me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.
I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a
year.
I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest
of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or recognize
the English language.
I'm supposed to believe that paying $288,200 to the Prime Minister so he can continue to ruin this country after losing an important vote in Parliament is fair, and paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is fair.
I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire") by
the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this
country didn't want it or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I
actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than
the Americans." Then I wait a week to see my doctor about these tension headaches...
I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry because I
control the rain.
My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I don't
know either of them.
Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest military
buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing
terrorists.
I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer who is broke.
My name is Bob, and I am Canadian. |
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